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Guest post by Greg Enright
So here's something you haven't seen on this blog before. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Brad Blogspeed's very first guest post! Greg Enright is a friend, neighbour, and conversational sounding board to yours truly. He's also a professional writer and an all around smart fellow; and for a long time now I've been bugging him to guest on this blog. Yesterday, out of nowhere, he informed me that he had done just that.
There were no suggestions or conditions regarding subject matter, and despite what it looks like, I promise that I didn't ask him to include me in his piece! In any case, it's thrilling to have some writing on this space by somebody who actually knows the craft. I hope you enjoy Greg's thoughts as much as I did.
In the Internet Era, keep surfing...and conversing
by Greg Enright
The owner of this blog paid a visit to my house recently along with his wife and two little boys. As always when we all get together, it was just a flat-out good time. A bit of wine and beer, the hockey game on , kids (miraculously) playing peacefully together amidst a hurricane of toys in the basement... even a few rounds of Scategories. Lots of fun with good friends.
The True Spirit of Labour Day
Whenever 'Daddy Days' come along I always try to do something fun with the lads. I guess it's my way of subliminally programming them to love me. Since by default Mommies are always the favourite, Daddies have to work to make sure they at least fill the role of 'fun one'. We tend to buy them more toys, wrestle on the couch after dinner, and take them to sporting events. We also make way cooler laser sounds than Mommies when joining in on Star Wars play. It's all a not-so-subtle attempt at emotional bribery, but luckily toddlers aren't smart enough yet to know that their loyalties are being gerrymandered.
Serenity NOW
There have been nary a post of late, and I assure you, for good reason. Last week was simply murder, as the ongoing juggling act that is my schedule came crashing down upon my head. Usually my policy is to never to say no to work, even if it seems that I'm too busy to take anything on, because things just tend to work themselves out. Between the various hold-ups and roadblocks that are natural to the industry, it seems like one thing always ends up getting delayed long enough to squeeze another thing in.
Not last week, however. For the last 10 days or so I've been functioning on 4 hours sleep a night, while the other 20 was spent either at my computer or downtown on an edit. It was exactly the sort of thing I had promised the wife I'd do less of this year. In the first year running my business I killed myself doing everything and anything, working 7 days a week and sleeping rarely. It was a surefire way to get my name out there and keep the money coming in, but it also took it's toll on my sanity.
While I've never been someone you could describe as 'having trouble relaxing', work didn't afford me the time to do so. In the moments between jobs I was great at doing nothing, but those moments rarely came.
Anyway, now that the week's projects are done, the family has decided to head north for a few days to soak in some Muskoka-style serenity.
On the first evening we had a meal, followed by ice-cream, at the Muskoka Wharf. As the sun set over the lake we reclined into Muskoka chairs in the perfectly gentle June air. Then, yesterday we spent the day on a mini road trip, encircling the Muskokan lakes and shopping at whatever boutique food shops we could find. Upon our return to the cottage a fabulous meal was prepared, highlighted by applewood smoked jerk chicken and veggie pakoras. Then a campfire was made to close out the evening.
The weekend was punctuated by a plethora of naps, and on one day in particular I think I counted four separate mini-slumbers by yours truly. (a new record) In the process I discovered a wonderful formula with which to pass a lazy afternoon:
- Consume two 500ml cans of a tasty brewed beverage.
- Lay down somewhere comfortable with a book and pretend to read it.
- Wake up, stretch, repeat.
So cottage living rocks, is what I'm saying. After an ATV ride today I think it will be time to head back to reality, but until then I'll continue to decadently enjoy a weekend I feel was at least partially deserved. My batteries are thoroughly recharged and I'm ready to take on an early summer-schedule that looks as hectic as ever. My long Muskoka weekend has given me the fuel to tackle the load I've, perhaps foolishly, taken on.
Maybe there's a lesson to be learned here. Although I hate saying no to work, maybe it's prudent to say yes to the occasional northern beer-nap from time to time. Otherwise, what's the point?
Red Dead Restraint
Today's the day. The full measure of my character is to be taken. My worth as a human being to be defined and categorized, either as strong individual in full control of his passions, or as a weakling who is slave to them. Temptation, be not my guide. Restraint, rescue me from the throes of enthusiasm.
What the golly-gee-willickers am I talking about? Red Dead Redemption, of course, Rockstar's epic new video game western. As reported before, I want it badly, and today is the day it mosies it's way onto store shelves everywhere.
No Bitching, Please!
Today I'm a little hot behind the ears at a couple of different folks, and feel like I need to stand around the blogger-cooler and vent. Like many, I find it therapeutic to just let-loose once and awhile, and cattily take apart those I'm subject to. Some people are just so ignorant, and they have to be called out on it, at least behind their backs.
Ok, none of the above is true, but it felt good to say. Well, I am mildly steamed at the moment, but whining about it isn't going to help. And I'm fairly certain that the aforementioned and quite common use of the word 'ignorant' is really not what people mean when they say it.
The very most important thing that changed for me when I left the full-time world (forever!) and went freelance is that I had nobody to bitch about, or to. Sure I have occasional frustrations with clients, but nothing akin to that person at the office you have a psychotic hatred for. There was this one guy at my last place of employment, who I'm pretty sure was a forward scout for some approaching alien armada. I gave him the nickname 'Chuckles' because of his grating Joker-esque laugh, and he still wears the nickname today. He wasn't just weird, he was mean, conniving, sneaky, and a chronic fibber.
Needless to say, whenever Chuckles wasn't around, he was the immediate subject of conversation. Again, not just in a mocking way, but in what I would characterize as a fair reaction to his many professional transgressions. Chuckles intentionally screwed lots of different people over in an effort to get himself two inches up some imaginary professional ladder. In those conversations my colleagues and I would share a great laugh picking apart him and the other members of the management team. It felt good to get all that frustration off of your chest.
Or did it?
Since I began my career I've been aware of a phenomenon that occurs around the water cooler, a side effect of all that bitching. It's a build up of bile and nasty sentiment that happens when people indulge too heavily in venting. It may feel good at the time, but bitch too much and you'll find that at some point you can't talk about anything else. Then, at the end of it all, you find yourself back in the same place with the same problems. This my friends, beyond whatever or whomever it was you were originally complaining about, is a massive source of stress.
This is of course easy to say and hard to live by. Again, I've been preaching this concept to myself and anyone else who would listen for years, but have fallen trap to the dangers of bitching repeatedly. The way Chuckles behaved was simply something impossible for me to ignore. While I tried to rise above it and let everything slide off my back, I guess my back just isn't that slippery.
So, you know, this isn't any kind of advice, beyond maybe a friendly reminder to cut short the water-cooler-bitch-fest in favour of some activity more constructive. Being in the self-employed situation I am now, where the most frustrated I get is how I feel today, was a gift from the gods.
However, I said earlier that "I had nobody to bitch about, or to." The relative absence of the former is lovely. But for the occasions where I just have to get my whine on, all y'all are filling in for the latter.
Diving Off a Sinking Ship
It was great to catch up, because she's a good one. Merry was the most popular person in the building, and for good reason. Eternally cheerful and always friendly, catching Merry in the elevator was very much like eating a Skittle. (Why that analogy, you ask? Well, 'a little ray of sunshine' is way overused, so I went with the next thing that came to mind.)
Metaphors aside, she was always sweet, witty, and fun to be around. Never did you see anything but a smile on her face.
That was until I came across her one day, long after the company had decided to lay my sorry ass off. Although I hadn't seen her since the day I was ushered out, I knew she was still an employee. While waiting for another former colleague across the street from the building, I saw Merry standing outside the door, having a cigarette. At least I thought it was her, because even from a distance she seemed unlike herself. As I walked closer and she saw me I realized what was so different: Merry wasn't smiling.
In respect for Merry I won't go into details, but in very short order I realized that the place had gotten to her. One of the most positive people I know was obviously feeling awfully negative.
My former place of employment, which I won't name on the advice of legal counsel, is the setting for a very sad tale. But then again, since I don't actually have legal counsel, perhaps I can hint at it. Ok, it's the publisher of a major Canadian newspaper, and it sucks.
Yet when I began to work there in 2001 it was precisely the opposite. In fact, I had never worked anywhere quite as positive. On the professional side, the company was ambitious and experimental and wanted to expand. There were new projects and ventures and ideas all over, and the young staff relished the idea of helping push the whole enterprise forward.
On the social side, that young staff just happened to be populated by many people who would go on to become life-long friends. Besides a vocation, the half dozen or so guys I met there also shared a neighbourhood, (we all lived within a few blocks of one another) a close age-range, and a similar sense of humour.
I met people I will know and work with for a long time at that job, something for which I'm very grateful.
Then things turned ugly.
The big newspaper started to tank, and the ambition began to wane. When the company stopped trying interesting things, people began to leave, and when they did so they weren't replaced. Many of my friends either moved on to better things, or were pushed out the door. People began to hate where we worked, and a paranoid concern for one's own job security became far more consuming than any thoughts of the company's best interests. Morale at first eroded, and then disappeared completely.
Things were bad, and then the rounds of layoffs began, during one of which, yours truly bit the bullet.
A situation such as that can't be blamed on anyone. A company doesn't set out to lose money, nor does it aim to have a work environment that makes people miserable. These things happen for many reasons that I don't pretend to understand and certainly won't go into. But nonetheless they are terrible positions to find yourself in.
What's worse is that when this sort of stress exists within a workplace personality conflicts become magnified, and it becomes ever easier to develop insurmountable conflicts with the strangers one is forced to spend 8-hour days with.
I know that during my last months within the organization I loathed the idea of going to work, and felt in many ways as if the weight of the world was on me, a degree of stress I wish never to revisit in my lifetime. Despite all this tension, it took a decision on the company's part before I ever was released from it.
So as it happens, not long after the day I ran into Merry she did something I may never have had the courage to do. She said no to the stress, and left the company for good. And while she's still looking for her next job, she smiled all through our lunch today. (Well, except for when her mouth was full) She's smart and ethical and easy to like, and I'm sure she'll find something soon. And two years from now when she's well into her next job, she'll look back and be very glad that she made the decision to leave an ugly situation.
I share this story to some degree, in that I'm endlessly happy that I no longer work there. What I can't claim however, is that I had the stones to make the call myself.
By any measure, I give kudos to Merry for taking care of herself first, and worrying about her career second. In an economy like this I bet there are many people in similar spots. Perhaps her story is a lesson worth learning.
In the meantime, Merry's decided to try her hand at art. She's doing a cool paper mosaic style using torn up pieces of magazine, lacquered onto plywood. I liked the work, and thought I'd share some of it here. She'll be selling some of it soon, and may even take commissions.
If you're interested in purchasing some of her work, leave a comment here and I'll get in touch. I'm setting up an email account for the blog but haven't tested it yet, so you can try that, at me@bradblogspeed.com
