Today I had lunch with an old friend and colleague, Merry Dang.
It was great to catch up, because she's a good one. Merry was the most popular person in the building, and for good reason. Eternally cheerful and always friendly, catching Merry in the elevator was very much like eating a Skittle. (Why that analogy, you ask? Well, 'a little ray of sunshine' is way overused, so I went with the next thing that came to mind.)
Metaphors aside, she was always sweet, witty, and fun to be around. Never did you see anything but a smile on her face.
That was until I came across her one day, long after the company had decided to lay my sorry ass off. Although I hadn't seen her since the day I was ushered out, I knew she was still an employee. While waiting for another former colleague across the street from the building, I saw Merry standing outside the door, having a cigarette. At least I thought it was her, because even from a distance she seemed unlike herself. As I walked closer and she saw me I realized what was so different: Merry wasn't smiling.
In respect for Merry I won't go into details, but in very short order I realized that the place had gotten to her. One of the most positive people I know was obviously feeling awfully negative.
My former place of employment, which I won't name on the advice of legal counsel, is the setting for a very sad tale. But then again, since I don't actually have legal counsel, perhaps I can hint at it. Ok, it's the publisher of a major Canadian newspaper, and it sucks.
Yet when I began to work there in 2001 it was precisely the opposite. In fact, I had never worked anywhere quite as positive. On the professional side, the company was ambitious and experimental and wanted to expand. There were new projects and ventures and ideas all over, and the young staff relished the idea of helping push the whole enterprise forward.
On the social side, that young staff just happened to be populated by many people who would go on to become life-long friends. Besides a vocation, the half dozen or so guys I met there also shared a neighbourhood, (we all lived within a few blocks of one another) a close age-range, and a similar sense of humour.
I met people I will know and work with for a long time at that job, something for which I'm very grateful.
Then things turned ugly.
The big newspaper started to tank, and the ambition began to wane. When the company stopped trying interesting things, people began to leave, and when they did so they weren't replaced. Many of my friends either moved on to better things, or were pushed out the door. People began to hate where we worked, and a paranoid concern for one's own job security became far more consuming than any thoughts of the company's best interests. Morale at first eroded, and then disappeared completely.
Things were bad, and then the rounds of layoffs began, during one of which, yours truly bit the bullet.
A situation such as that can't be blamed on anyone. A company doesn't set out to lose money, nor does it aim to have a work environment that makes people miserable. These things happen for many reasons that I don't pretend to understand and certainly won't go into. But nonetheless they are terrible positions to find yourself in.
What's worse is that when this sort of stress exists within a workplace personality conflicts become magnified, and it becomes ever easier to develop insurmountable conflicts with the strangers one is forced to spend 8-hour days with.
I know that during my last months within the organization I loathed the idea of going to work, and felt in many ways as if the weight of the world was on me, a degree of stress I wish never to revisit in my lifetime. Despite all this tension, it took a decision on the company's part before I ever was released from it.
So as it happens, not long after the day I ran into Merry she did something I may never have had the courage to do. She said no to the stress, and left the company for good. And while she's still looking for her next job, she smiled all through our lunch today. (Well, except for when her mouth was full) She's smart and ethical and easy to like, and I'm sure she'll find something soon. And two years from now when she's well into her next job, she'll look back and be very glad that she made the decision to leave an ugly situation.
I share this story to some degree, in that I'm endlessly happy that I no longer work there. What I can't claim however, is that I had the stones to make the call myself.
By any measure, I give kudos to Merry for taking care of herself first, and worrying about her career second. In an economy like this I bet there are many people in similar spots. Perhaps her story is a lesson worth learning.
In the meantime, Merry's decided to try her hand at art. She's doing a cool paper mosaic style using torn up pieces of magazine, lacquered onto plywood. I liked the work, and thought I'd share some of it here. She'll be selling some of it soon, and may even take commissions.
If you're interested in purchasing some of her work, leave a comment here and I'll get in touch. I'm setting up an email account for the blog but haven't tested it yet, so you can try that, at
me@bradblogspeed.com